8-Bit Theater
Episode 510
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Geography Lesson
Date Published Tuesday, February 1st, 2005
Previous Comic Episode 509: Just After the Epic Battle...
Next Comic Episode 511: Hey, brother, can you spare a quarter
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Black Mage tries to prove it to the team, but to no avail...

Cast Appearing[]



Red Mage I'm sorry, Black Mage, but you are obviously lying.
Black Mage There were giant monsters! I had to fight them myself!
I have the gaping, life-threatening wounds to prove it!
Red Mage That's ridiculous. Everyone knows you're weak and cowardly.
You'd never fight giant monsters all on your own.
Black Mage Okay, yeah, that's a good point. But!
Black Mage I couldn't help it!
We're on the open seas. The only place to run involves introducing gallons of salt water into my lungs!
My survival instinct kicked in! I'm as ashamed by my apparent courage as the rest of you.
Fighter Quite unlikely
Thief I find that hard to believe.
Red Mage Then where's the evidence? If giant monsters have been slain, as you allege, slain, it stands to reason that they'd leave behind giant bodies.
Meanwhile, in the land of dwarves...
Dwarf Sir, the Bearded Coastal Reserves have reported between zero and three giant monster bodies washed up on our beards, er, shores.
Dwarf King That's quite distressing.
Dwarf Yes, your highness.
Dwarf King Perhaps most worrying of all is that Dwarf Land is a landlocked nation made entirely out of mountains.
We are without shores.
Dwarf The news will simply ruin the coastal reserves.
I'll send the order to terminate their services post haste.
Dwarf King Oh, no time for that, I should think. Just have them murdered in front of their families and blame it on the elves.
Less paperwork that way.