8-Bit Theater
Episode 512
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Date Published Saturday, February 5th, 2005
Previous Comic Episode 511: Hey, brother, can you spare a quarter
Next Comic Episode 513: Thus Spoke Sardathustra
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Fighter, being an idiot, gathers everyone together to listen to his investigation. With Bikke out of the wheel, only one word explains it all...

Cast Appearing[]


  • Dark Warriors' galleon


Fighter I have gathered you all here to dramatically reveal the conclusion to the mystery of the ghost pirates of the haunted galleon of pirates' cove.
Black Mage You stupid, stupid, ugly man.
Fighter I've had more difficult cases. But not many.
Black Mage I must assume that you hold intelligent discourse in the highest contempt, otherwise you would not assail against it daily.
Red Mage "Assail against"? You sure about that one?
Fighter It was a nearly perfect crime.
It was carried out at sea...
Under cover of night...
Without witnesses or the slightest hint of evidence.
So perfect was the execution, in fact, some of its own victims refuse to believe a crime was committed at all!
Black Mage What crime?!
Fighter My point precisely.
Black Mage That's it. I'm outta here.
Black Mage "My point precisely."
Gimme a break.
If I knew how to steer this thing, I'd drive us straight into... wait a second.
Black Mage Who is steering this thing?
A note attached to the wheel says: "Back in 10 -Bikke (Yar)"
Cut to the galleon in rough waters and the words SHIPWRECK!