8-Bit Theater
Episode 515
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Cold Hearted
Date Published Saturday, February 12th, 2005
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Black Mage tells of his insidious plan to escape by himself. Thief points out his selfishness.

Cast AppearingEdit


  • Unnamed tundra


Black MageOkay, let's pile into Fighter's guts.
ThiefNo one is cocooning himself in Fighter's body. Not yet.
Black MageNature has given us this bounty, it would be a crime to let it go to waste.
ThiefI think nature's working up a mage flavored bounty.
FighterI'm still alive. I'm only bleeding to death at the moment.
Black MageLook at what your inaction has wrought. He's alive.
Had we blindly listened to my rantings, we'd have gutted him by now and everything would be great. And warm.
ThiefDoesn't it occur to you that this plan is incredibly short sighted?
Black MageIn what way?
ThiefFighter's organs, as meaty as they may be, won't outlast the cold.
Black MageThe way I see it, there's also you and Red Mage.
Black MageThat'll give me a couple of days to figure out a way to save all the survivors.
ThiefConsisting entirely of yourself.
Red Mage(from the top right) Or we could listen to our very own tactical genius!
Black Mage and Thief turns to face Red Mage.
Black MageDid you hire a new guy without telling me?
ThiefI think he means himself.
Black MageOh.
Oh, that's so sad.
Red Mage(thinking) I'm getting a headache...
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