8-Bit Theater
Episode 515
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Cold Hearted
Date Published Saturday, February 12th, 2005
Previous Comic Episode 514: Cold Shoulder
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Black Mage tells of his insidious plan to escape by himself. Thief points out his selfishness.

Cast Appearing[]


  • Unnamed tundra


Black Mage Okay, let's pile into Fighter's guts.
Thief No one is cocooning himself in Fighter's body. Not yet.
Black Mage Nature has given us this bounty, it would be a crime to let it go to waste.
Thief I think nature's working up a mage flavored bounty.
Fighter I'm still alive. I'm only bleeding to death at the moment.
Black Mage Look at what your inaction has wrought. He's alive.
Had we blindly listened to my rantings, we'd have gutted him by now and everything would be great. And warm.
Thief Doesn't it occur to you that this plan is incredibly short sighted?
Black Mage In what way?
Thief Fighter's organs, as meaty as they may be, won't outlast the cold.
Black Mage The way I see it, there's also you and Red Mage.
Black Mage That'll give me a couple of days to figure out a way to save all the survivors.
Thief Consisting entirely of yourself.
Red Mage (from the top right) Or we could listen to our very own tactical genius!
Black Mage and Thief turns to face Red Mage.
Black Mage Did you hire a new guy without telling me?
Thief I think he means himself.
Black Mage Oh.
Oh, that's so sad.
Red Mage (thinking) I'm getting a headache...