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8-Bit Theater
Episode 536
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Savvy Customers
Date Published Tuesday, April 5, 2005
Previous Comic Episode 535: Something for Everyone
Next Comic Episode 537: Field Testing
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The team wastes their time by making something out of ice...

Cast Appearing[]

Setting[]

Script[]

The whole cave is splattered from the blood of the Cultists...
Black Mage We came to the frozen asshole of the planet like Sarda said.

What I wanna know is where's the crappy item of great power we were promised. 'Cause I don't see it.
Black Mage (taking out his dagger) If it's something lame and immaterial like "friendship" or "trust", I'll have to cut his face off.
Red Mage Yeah, I don't need a quest to teach me the importance of faking friendship.
Black Mage Seriously, I'll do it. No jury in the world would convict me.
Fighter (offscreen) Guys! I found it! I found our item of incredible power!
Fighter appears, wearing armor made of ice.
Black Mage Why are you wearing that?
Fighter 'Cause it's totally bitchin' ice armor!
Black Mage It's literally made of ice, isn't it.
Fighter Yup! It's icy core protects me against the cold. It's working so well that I can't even feel my limbs anymore.
Black Mage That's perhaps the stupid thing I've heard, so you're not nearly smart enough to have thought of this on your own.
Black Mage And since I haven't seen Thief in the last three minutes...
Cut to Thief inside a wooden stall that says:
"Thiefco, 5¢ High Quality Ice and Ice-like Products"
Thief You should check out this great new spell I legitimately invented just now.
Cut to a note that says:
Blast of Ice
(a totally real spell)
Spell Components:
Ice
Semantic Components:
Throw (ice)
Red Mage Sounds legitimate.