8-Bit Theater
Episode 539
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Everybody remember where we parked.
Date Published Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Previous Comic Episode 538: Business as Usual
Next Comic Episode 540: A Simple Question
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The team manages to escape on a ship, owned by the Real Light Warriors

Cast Appearing[]



Red Mage runs around the bloodstained cave, laughing...
Red Mage Yee hee hee hee!
Red Mage Ah ha ha ha!
Black Mage (angrily) What in the damn hell are you doing?
Red Mage Fighter, need to find Fighter,
Black Mage He's over there, I think he's selling him his non-iced armor back.
Red Mage (runs off) Yee hee hee hee!
Black Mage The futility of survival has finally broken his mind.
Thief, Fighter, and Red Mage are carrying boxes in the background...
Black Mage It comes as no surprise that I'm unaffected by the utter hopelessness that's choking the life from our frozen bones.
Black Mage Only I possess the determination to face our imminent deaths with dignity.
Black Mage Why, why must one as beautiful as I meet such a fate as this?

Oh, terrible destiny! Your cold heart has swallowed us!
Fighter appears...
Black Mage Trapped forever in the left ventricle--the least sympathetic of the four chambers--we are without salvation!
Figther carries Black Mage out of the cave...
Black Mage What is hell, you ask?

It is hopeless and this is it, I say!
Black Mage (looking around) When did we get a boat?
Twenty minutes later...
The Real Light Warriors are out in the freezing tundra.
Warrior There's a doomsday cult in the arctic, you said.

We'll slay them and save the world, you said.

Let's scout around for them, you said.

We won't have to guard the ship, you said.

It's not like there's anyone out here to steal it, you said.

Where's our boat, Barry!