8-Bit Theater
Episode 540
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A Simple Question
Date Published Thursday, April 14, 2005
Previous Comic Episode 539: Everybody remember where we parked.
Next Comic Episode 541: Crate Expectations
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Red Mage makes a simple question much more difficult than it is...

Cast Appearing[]


  • The Real Light Warriors' Boat


Black Mage Okay, escaping from an alternate reality without knowing how, I can take. But someone's really got to explain this boat.
Red Mage Oh, I can explain how we bent the laws of a dead universe to safely expel us from it!
Black Mage No, I don't care. I accept we're here now. I wish only to know how here got to involve a boat.
Red Mage Although, for the sake of accuracy, I should have said "How I bent the laws of a dead universe."
Black Mage Seriously, I'm over it.
Red Mage It began, as so many things do, with my incredible intellect collecting data without me knowing it.
Black Mage No one cares!
Red Mage The cultists kept prattling about swallowing the world in darkness.
Black Mage Stop talking!
Red Mage Then they shoved us into their own personal realm of an endless darkness.
Red Mage Clearly it was their plan to shove that dimension onto our own.
Black Mage You've been warned thrice.
Red Mage (behind the infinite nothingness) So it was a simple matter of aligning our various chrono-spatially displaced selves so the future-most versions of us pre-empted our past-most selves to create a paradox at the exact moment the cultists were going to summon doom for our world so they got us instead while their dimension swallowed itself and all our previous versions into a logical quandry of nonexistence!
Black Mage stabs him on the head with a THUNK!
Red Mage (falling over) Oh dear,
Black Mage How did we get this boat?
Thief We found it parked outside. No one was on board, so it's ours.
Black Mage Thank you.
Thief Also, we took everything the cultists left behind.

I'm sure it's perfectly safe.
Black Mage Oh, of course.

No ship with mysterious cargo could be in danger.