8-Bit Theater
Episode 541
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Crate Expectations
Date Published Saturday, April 16, 2005
Previous Comic Episode 540: A Simple Question
Next Comic Episode 542: What do you do with a drunken sailor?
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Fighter is very...imaginative, I must say.

Cast Appearing[edit | edit source]

Setting[edit | edit source]

  • The Real Light Warriors' Boat

Script[edit | edit source]

Fighter What was I doing again...?
Black Mage You're down here guarding the cargo.
Fighter Right!
Fighter guards the cargo...
Fighter What are you doing?
Black Mage I'm down here making sure you don't do anything stupid like open one of those crates.
Fighter Now why would I want to open one of these crates?
Fighter I don't even know what's inside them. It could be anything. Like killer man-eating bears or fire.
Cut to a crate on fire
Fighter But, why would you put fire in a box?
Fighter So, obviously, they're shipping bears for the circus.
Cut to the front page of the Daily Bugle with the headline:
CIRCUS SLAYING
Killer Bears Sought for Questioning-Spider-Man is Probably to Blame for it Though.
Fighter Wait, you don't want man-eating bears for the circus.
Fighter No repeat customers.
Fighter They're probably taking the bears to a nature preserve. As guards.
Cut to a bear wearing medieval armor with a sword
Fighter I bet they're as strong as bears! Maybe twice as strong. Yeah. They won't even need their swords. I'd better open the crates and get those swords before they go to waste in there.
Fighter I can't open the crates. You're standing in my way for some reason.
Black Mage What were we just talking about, Fighter?
Fighter You weren't really listening either, huh?
Black Mage Why did I volunteer for this?
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