8-Bit Theater
Episode 543
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No Loose Ends
Date Published Thursday, April 21, 2005
Previous Comic Episode 542: What do you do with a drunken sailor?
Next Comic Episode 544: Taking Aim
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Looks like Fighter made his way to Swordtown after all...

Cast Appearing[]


  • The Real Light Warriors' Boat


Red Mage And that's the amazing tale of our miraculous victory over the eye.
Black Mage Just the latest in a series of unnecessarily harrowing events introduced to my life thanks to morons like RM.
Red Mage It said it knew the way.
Black Mage It was going to take us out of reality. Again.
Red Mage (thinking) I thought it was a shortcut.
Thief Yes, fascinating. You know of course that I don't believe a single word of it.
Black Mage And why would you?
Thief Also, I suggest you don't tell anyone else about this as I own your life-stories.
You'd be committing plagiarism!
In other news, I love my life.
Thief leaves...
Black Mage You ever get the feeling that the universe is a vast, impersonal emptiness that exists only to hurt you?
Red Mage Yes. It's how we know the DM is doing his job.
Fighter (holding three swords) Hey guys! Did you hear how Thief single-handedly defeated the eye monster again?
And how you two just sat in a corner weeping the whole time?
Black Mage Yeah, we heard something more or less along those lines.
Fighter Oh, Black Mage, you'll never guess where I've been!
Black Mage No, don't tell me.
I want to figure it out.
Night passes and Red Mage and Black Mage are gone.
Fighter He is so stumped.
What a sucker.


  • Red Mage's mention of DM is an abbreviation of "Dungeon Master", a person who is directed to create dungeon elements and roll event dice in Dungeons and Dragons games.