8-Bit Theater
Episode 545
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Pattern Recognition
Date Published Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Previous Comic Episode 544: Taking Aim
Next Comic Episode 546: Mysteries of the Sea
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Black Mage is indeed a sucker...

Cast AppearingEdit


  • Outside Akbar's Very Effective Witness Protection Program building
  • In an orphanage


Black MageOkay, so we're all agreed on this?
Red MageI don't know. It seems like there's a glaring problem with this course of action.
Black MageThere's a decidedly fatal problem without this course of action, so guess which one I'm doin'.
Red MageSee, I think these problems are related.
Black MageHey, this was Thief's idea.
And if there's one thing I know about Thief's ideas, it's that they always work.
ThiefThis "Thief" sounds like an excellent fellow. I wouldn't know of course, as my name is Lopez and definitely not Thief.
Red MageWell I'm convinced.
The building sign reads:
Very Effective Witness Protection Program

(not utterly useless)
Black MageI knew there was a use for his evil genius that didn't involve screwin' me like a two-dicked billygoat.
Orphanage HeadDon't worry, orphans. The giant cargo ship filled to its seams with medicines and food shall be here any day now!
Onion KidWell, I already lost my real family and then my loving foster family to random violence.
Orphanage HeadSo, statistically speaking, nothing horrible could happen to that ship.
But if it does, then we know who to blame and therefore who to kick out.
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