Episode 575: Rats Of Unusual Size

Stuck in a potentially awkward situation.

Cast Appearing[]

Thief	I know you guys aren't elves, but even your species must have some limit to stupidity hard coded into your base DNA. The dragon you met may be a king, but it is of hobos and his only claim to Godhood is how he feels after a few bottles of hooch. I turn around for five minutes to set up an incredibly profitable business... ...And you guys are taking orders from a drunk, subterranean man in a soiled dragon outfit he made out of discarded rat skins sewn together with clumps of his own hair.
Red Mage	We promised to kill a Dire Rat for him.
Thief	That's another thing. What's so dire about a rat?
Red Mage	It's commonly known that simply adding the term "dire" to any existing animal species will produce a larger, sinister variant of that animal. Take, for example, the dreaded Dire Elk.
Arrow pointing at elk saying: Extremely dire
Thief	That's the stupidest thing I've heard that didn't involve dragon gods or their kings.
Black Mage	No, a Dire Elk bit my sister once.
Fighter	You have a sister too?
Black Mage	Well, I wouldn't use the present tense to describe any member of my family, but yeah.
Thief	The point is, your hobo friend wanted you to bring back the tail of a fictional animal.
Thief	I don't think he's going to be disappointed or surprised when you fail.
Silence...cut to Thief, with Berserker Axinhed behind him.
Thief	What?