8-Bit Theater
Episode 587
An average Dwarfland Times reader.
An average Dwarfland Times reader.
Penetrating Research
Date Published Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Previous Comic Episode 586: This is for, like, three of you.
Next Comic Episode 588: On The Other Side
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Certain words make a person uncomfortable if they're thinking the wrong way. Hence, they're sick-minded.

Cast Appearing[]



Red Mage After a series of probing interviews, I was able to determine why The Other Warriors are not dead.
Ranger, fleeing from Berserker's blind, murderous rage, ran away.
This eventually led him to a desert where he regrouped with Cleric and Rogue, his "lost" companions.
Red Mage It seems Rogue and Cleric had been roaming the area, probing it if you will, in search of real estate dealings with a nomadic tribe of sand people who, incidentally, have no concept of ownership.
Rogue I know a guy.
He's the number one importer/exporter of beachfront property for a legit nation I can't remember now.
I think he'd be interested in acquiring your endless beach-like wasteland.
Red Mage When Berserker eventually caught up with Ranger, he was exhausted from probing through the desert while keeping up with a demeanor of a rampaging, mindless killer.
Berserker Kill. Poop. Rape.

Also: Thirsty. Tired. Die.
Red Mage Ranger took advantage of Berserker's weakened state to show him a probing article from a newspaper Cleric had brought from civilization.
Cut to a newspaper with the headline: '"Band of roughians decimate Dwarven nation. Let's face it, the Elves are probably to Blame."' The Light Warriors are pictured. Second headline reads: '"Real Estate Scam bankrupts dozens! Cheap beachfront lots are actually in desert wasteland!"'
Red Mage Thus exonerated, Ranger was then able to befriend Berserker again and The Other Warriors were reunited at long last.
Red Mage Any questions? (BM raises his hand) Yes, Black Mage?
Black Mage A two-parter,
One, how did the newspaper have an article about events in a remote desert that hadn't happened yet?

Two, does RM's constant use of the word "probing" make anyone else feel uncomfortable?
Red Mage What's wrong with being thorough? I always go for the deepest probing action humanly possible.