| 8-Bit Theater | |
| Episode 587 | |
| |
| An average Dwarfland Times reader. | |
| Penetrating Research | |
| Date Published | Tuesday, August 16, 2005 |
| Previous Comic | Episode 586: This is for, like, three of you. |
| Next Comic | Episode 588: On The Other Side |
| Read Episode | |
Certain words make a person uncomfortable if they're thinking the wrong way. Hence, they're sick-minded.
Cast Appearing[]
- Red Mage Statscowski
- Black Mage Evilwizardington
- Fighter McWarrior
- Thief
- Berserker Axinhed
- Ranger
- Rogue
- Cleric
- Sand Villager
Setting[]
- Cardia Isles
- A desert
Script[]
| Red Mage | After a series of probing interviews, I was able to determine why The Other Warriors are not dead. Ranger, fleeing from Berserker's blind, murderous rage, ran away. This eventually led him to a desert where he regrouped with Cleric and Rogue, his "lost" companions. |
| Red Mage | It seems Rogue and Cleric had been roaming the area, probing it if you will, in search of real estate dealings with a nomadic tribe of sand people who, incidentally, have no concept of ownership. |
| Rogue | I know a guy. He's the number one importer/exporter of beachfront property for a legit nation I can't remember now. I think he'd be interested in acquiring your endless beach-like wasteland. |
| Red Mage | When Berserker eventually caught up with Ranger, he was exhausted from probing through the desert while keeping up with a demeanor of a rampaging, mindless killer. |
| Berserker | Kill. Poop. Rape. Also: Thirsty. Tired. Die. |
| Red Mage | Ranger took advantage of Berserker's weakened state to show him a probing article from a newspaper Cleric had brought from civilization. |
| Cut to a newspaper with the headline: '"Band of roughians decimate Dwarven nation. Let's face it, the Elves are probably to Blame."' The Light Warriors are pictured. Second headline reads: '"Real Estate Scam bankrupts dozens! Cheap beachfront lots are actually in desert wasteland!"' | |
| Red Mage | Thus exonerated, Ranger was then able to befriend Berserker again and The Other Warriors were reunited at long last. |
| Red Mage | Any questions? (BM raises his hand) Yes, Black Mage? |
| Black Mage | A two-parter, One, how did the newspaper have an article about events in a remote desert that hadn't happened yet? Two, does RM's constant use of the word "probing" make anyone else feel uncomfortable? |
| Red Mage | What's wrong with being thorough? I always go for the deepest probing action humanly possible. |
Trivia[]
- The illustration of the Light Warriors on the newspaper is drawn by Scott Ramsoomair of VG Cats fame.