| 8-Bit Theater | |
| Episode 591 | |
| |
| Well, your context's absurd! | |
| Hypothetically Speaking Again... | |
| Date Published | Saturday, August 27, 2005 |
| Previous Comic | Episode 590: Getting Directions |
| Next Comic | Episode 592: Black Mage is pining. |
| Read Episode | |
Ranger's X-Fight ability in action...
Cast Appearing[]
Setting[]
Script[]
| Black Mage | How about this then? Green Arrow vs. Bullseye. |
| Red Mage | A most challenging match. |
| Red Mage | On the one hand, Green Arrow is an archer of preternatural skill armed with an array of high-tech arrows and a cunning born of the jungle. On the other, any hand held item in Bullseye's possession is a deadly thrown weapon that cannot miss. |
| Red Mage | Considering all possible angles, and approximately 89% of the impossible ones, the greatest intellect of this world--mine--chooses Green Arrow as the victor. |
| Black Mage | You have chosen the path of defeat. |
| Red Mage | Explain! |
| Black Mage | There are only two possible openings. One where Green Arrow attacks first, and the other where Bullseye does so. |
| Black Mage | If Bullseye takes the first shot, it would kill Green Arrow flat out. Paper clip, twig, whatever. The Arrow's life is officially forfeit. Green Arrow, romantic relationships aside, is a moral man. If he takes the first shot, it will not be a fatal one. However, Bullseye's retaliation would be. Quid quo pro. |
| Red Mage | But, you see, Bullseye's only asset is impeccable aim. Green Arrow possesses that and an arsenal of specialty arrows. |
| Red Mage | Tell me, what would Bullseye do after being coated head to toe by the contents of a fast-acting glue arrow? |
| Black Mage | Hock a loogie down Green Arrow's windpipe, choking him to death. |
| Red Mage | Oh, good answer. But! Let us not forget that Green Arrow could shoot any projectile right out of the air. |
| Black Mage | Ah, but what about multiple projectiles? Hm? |
| Red Mage | He can shoot several arrows at once with the utmost precision. |
| Black Mage | Even in the context of this conversation, that's patently absur-- |
| The sound of multiple arrows flying are heard. They hit Black Mage and pin him on a tree. Ranger appears... | |
| Black Mage | Oh. |