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8-Bit Theater
Episode 591
Well, your context's absurd!
Well, your context's absurd!
Hypothetically Speaking Again...
Date Published Saturday, August 27, 2005
Previous Comic Episode 590: Getting Directions
Next Comic Episode 592: Black Mage is pining.
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Ranger's X-Fight ability in action...

Cast Appearing[]

Setting[]

Script[]

Black Mage How about this then?
Green Arrow vs. Bullseye.
Red Mage A most challenging match.
Red Mage On the one hand, Green Arrow is an archer of preternatural skill armed with an array of high-tech arrows and a cunning born of the jungle.

On the other, any hand held item in Bullseye's possession is a deadly thrown weapon that cannot miss.
Red Mage Considering all possible angles, and approximately 89% of the impossible ones, the greatest intellect of this world--mine--chooses Green Arrow as the victor.
Black Mage You have chosen the path of defeat.
Red Mage Explain!
Black Mage There are only two possible openings. One where Green Arrow attacks first, and the other where Bullseye does so.
Black Mage If Bullseye takes the first shot, it would kill Green Arrow flat out.
Paper clip, twig, whatever. The Arrow's life is officially forfeit.

Green Arrow, romantic relationships aside, is a moral man. If he takes the first shot, it will not be a fatal one. However, Bullseye's retaliation would be.
Quid quo pro.
Red Mage But, you see, Bullseye's only asset is impeccable aim.
Green Arrow possesses that and an arsenal of specialty arrows.
Red Mage Tell me, what would Bullseye do after being coated head to toe by the contents of a fast-acting glue arrow?
Black Mage Hock a loogie down Green Arrow's windpipe, choking him to death.
Red Mage Oh, good answer.
But!
Let us not forget that Green Arrow could shoot any projectile right out of the air.
Black Mage Ah, but what about multiple projectiles? Hm?
Red Mage He can shoot several arrows at once with the utmost precision.
Black Mage Even in the context of this conversation, that's patently absur--
The sound of multiple arrows flying are heard. They hit Black Mage and pin him on a tree. Ranger appears...
Black Mage Oh.
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