8-Bit Theater
Episode 755
Stupid Olympics.
Stupid Olympics.
First Prize!
Date Published October 12th, 2006
Previous Comic Episode 754: He’s Gone To A Better Place
Next Comic Episode 756: Psycho Analyzed
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You don't have to outrun the Kraken, just your buddy -- unless you happen to be in temple that's disobeying the laws of space/time.

Cast Appearing[]



Up-close shot of the (remaining) Light Warriors as they are still standing in front of the (carnivorous) mass of tentacles Fighter accidentally summoned. So far it has swallowed Red Mage and caused Thief to vanish.
Black Mage Well I'm running away.
Fighter Like a race?
Black Mage (Already a blur) Sure.
Fighter (Turns around with his arms raised) Hey! No fair!
Up-close shot of Fighter and Black Mage running with all their might in the opposite direction of the summoned elder god. Their arms and feets are all a-blur as the background whistles by. Though Black Mage's eyes are squeezed shut as he's straining, Fighter has his usual effortless blank stare.
Fighter has surpassed Black Mage and Black Mage opens his eyes to notice this.
Black Mage strains more and tilts forward, but can just barely close the gap between Fighter and himself.
Black Mage finally overcomes Fighter. Fighter coincidentally has a knife in his head.
Fighter (Knife in head) Knife shlowsh down da feetsh.
Black Mage is now running by himself.
Black Mage (Gleeful expression) I'm gonna win, I'm gonna win!
Black Mage's premature victory ends prematurely as he dives face-first into the mass of tentacles with a loud SPLUTCH!
Black Mage (PO'd expression) Lousy non-Euclidean temple.
Black Mage gets further lodged in the mass of tentacles when Fighter crashes into him from behind at full speed with a sickening SKRUNCH!
Fighter (No longer with knife) You dropped your knife back there. In my skull. Again.


  • Spelled Euclidian in the comic strip, this was a compilation of theories by Ancient Green mathematician Euclid mapping out the properties of physical space in a regular gravitational field.