8-Bit Theater
Episode 841
There's only so many times a man can listen to "Welcome to Corneria!"
There's only so many times a man can listen to "Welcome to Corneria!"
Permission To Speak Freely
Date Published 2007/05/03
Previous Comic Episode 840: New Guard
Next Comic Episode 842: Consolation Prize
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Does this mean everyone above Black Mage has their head up an idiot's ass?

Cast Appearing[]



Red Mage (Making a pointing gesture) Err... A though occurs.
Thief You don't have the rank to speak.
Black Mage (Turns around to face Red Mage, raises his fist) Yeah!
Thief You have even less rank.
Black Mage (Close-up of his face looking contorted) Goddamn chain of command. Everyone lower than me is an idiot, and everyone higher has his head up his ass.
Red Mage (Looking intrigued) How do I get a speaking rank?
Thief You don't. But I'll allow a reprieve of protocol.
Red Mage (Zoom up) Extortion is fine. I mean we can just barge into anyone's home and take their stuff anyway. It's our right as main characters.
Zoom back out, pan to the left of Red Mage to see the still-standing corpse of the bank teller. That blood fountain from where his neck used to be is still going.
Red Mage But I have to draw the line at serial murder.
Black Mage (Close-up with his arms raised) Oh, come on! All they do is walk back and forth spouting the same moron phrases at anyone stupid enough to bump into them.

Frankly I'm doing them a favor.

Red Mage (Looking pensive) You're right, they don't have much to live for as NPCs.
Black Mage (Looking puzzled) Npwhatsa?
Red Mage (Turning back to look at the still gushing teller) Also, is this, uh... is this going to stop any time soon?

It's starting to gag me out, y'know?

A frame of the teller's blood fountain starting to die down.
Die down...
Red Mage Finally.
Blood splashes across the entire panel as Red Mage has to turn away.