8-Bit Theater
Episode 950
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Stop, Drop, And Roll Is For Morons
Date Published Friday February 1st, 2008
Previous Comic Episode 949: You Could Be Swingin’ On A Star
Next Comic Episode 951: When Life Gives You Firelemons
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Black Mage has issues, man.

Cast Appearing[]


Black Mage is complaining to Fighter.
Black Mage I have to say.

The, uh, decor doesn't quite live up to the high-tech image from the legends. It's got all the rustic charm of an old shed in the woods utilized exclusively by drunk hobos who, more often than not, wake up covered in filth that may or may not be their own.

That's the polite way to put it.

The impolite way begins with me uttering a prayer to the unmaker of all things and ends with fire falling out of the sky until this oversized hovel is but a smoking memory.

Red Mage appears, still on fire.
Red Mage You've got issues, man.
Black Mage First of all, shut the hell up. And second of all, aren't you dead?
Red Mage Nope. I've been casting Life 2 on myself. Or Life 3. Whichever.
Black Mage What I know about white magic could fill a thimble halfway, but I know both of those are out of your league.
Red Mage I know that and you know that, but I don't know that.
Black Mage I wish I could unhear that.
Red Mage falls to the floor, seemingly dead, then uses a heal spell on himself.
Red Mage See? No harm done.