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8-Bit Theater
Episode 951
Episode 0951
I bet Red Mage grew up wanting to be flaming.
When Life Gives You Firelemons
Date Published Tuesday February 5th, 2008
Previous Comic Episode 950: Stop, Drop, And Roll Is For Morons
Next Comic Episode 952: Together Again
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Red Mage decides that being on fire is great.

Cast Appearing Edit

Script Edit

Background is black, with Thief on the panel speaking.
ThiefDon't misconstrue this as concern for your well being...

...I mean, a castle farmer is, by necessity, interested in the health of his livestock...

Background reveals itself to be outside the castle, with Red Mage on fire.
Thief...But doesn't it worry you to be, you know, aflame?
Red MageAre you kidding? This is great.

This is like if burning hands was a seventh level spell!
Maybe sixth...

Red MageAnd anyway, it's auto-hit to boot!
Red MageI could hug you for 3d4 per turn, Thief.
Red MagePer turn.
Red MageNo, I'd be an idiot to give this up, thanks.
Red Mage falls on the floor, seemingly dead.
ThiefOf course. What was I thinking?
Red Mage revives himself with a spell.
ThiefThat doesn't hurt at all?
Red MageHm?
ThiefThe spell that brings you back.
Red MageOh, it's quite excruciating.
Red Mage pauses.
Red MageAt least it's not as bad as the burning.
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