8-Bit Theater
Episode 951
I bet Red Mage grew up wanting to be flaming.
I bet Red Mage grew up wanting to be flaming.
When Life Gives You Firelemons
Date Published Tuesday February 5th, 2008
Previous Comic Episode 950: Stop, Drop, And Roll Is For Morons
Next Comic Episode 952: Together Again
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Red Mage decides that being on fire is great.

Cast Appearing[edit | edit source]

Script[edit | edit source]

Background is black, with Thief on the panel speaking.
Thief Don't misconstrue this as concern for your well being...

...I mean, a castle farmer is, by necessity, interested in the health of his livestock...

Background reveals itself to be outside the castle, with Red Mage on fire.
Thief ...But doesn't it worry you to be, you know, aflame?
Red Mage Are you kidding? This is great.

This is like if burning hands was a seventh level spell!
Maybe sixth...

Red Mage And anyway, it's auto-hit to boot!
Red Mage I could hug you for 3d4 per turn, Thief.
Red Mage Per turn.
Red Mage No, I'd be an idiot to give this up, thanks.
Red Mage falls on the floor, seemingly dead.
Thief Of course. What was I thinking?
Red Mage revives himself with a spell.
Thief That doesn't hurt at all?
Red Mage Hm?
Thief The spell that brings you back.
Red Mage Oh, it's quite excruciating.
Red Mage pauses.
Red Mage At least it's not as bad as the burning.
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