These are characters whose purpose is solely for recurring jokes. They typically torture or are tortured by other characters (such as Black Mage Evilwizardington).
Onion Kid[edit | edit source]
- Main article: Onion Kid
Onion Kid (sometimes called Rex Crockett though this was recently confirmed to not be his real name) is a younger version of Sarda. Due to his foster families' murders at the hands of the Light Warriors (primarily Black Mage), he strove to grow into the most powerful wizard ever.
The Real Light Warriors[edit | edit source]
First Appearance: Episode 087: A Day Late and a Buck Short
The true warriors of light. They went on a level up binge right before applying for the job, resulting in the main cast getting it. They have been screwed over by the Light Warriors on multiple occasions. They include a knight, the sage Barry (to whom the knight is always complaining), a white wizard and a Ninja.
So far, they were nearly executed by the elves for "being human on a sunny day", rejected for Bearded Warriors in Dwarf Land, and trapped in the Arctic going after the Doom Cultists (as the Light Warriors stole their ship)—only leaving after Fighter creates a hole in space-time by folding a portable hole in itself. Later they are in Melmond, where Dr. Unne had just translated the Leifenish language using a cypherstone recovered by the Warriors—and then Black Mage set the city on fire. In Episode 1202: So, that’s where they’ve been., they return from an exciting adventure through the multiverse, picking up powerful weapons along the way. However, they are quickly robbed by the Light Warriors.
Superheroes[edit | edit source]
First Appearance: Episode 115: The Tides of War Are Upon Us!
- Arachna-Dude: First seen in Episode 115: The Tides of War Are Upon Us!, in a "Spidey-Camera". Then, in Episode 145: Opening Weekend Delight, following Black Mage mentioning that the "Arachna-Dude movie" was opening that weekend in Corneria, the hero comes out of nowhere, kicks Red Mage out of a suit of armor, and departs to "single-handedly save a film genre". He also cameos in Episode 151: Excelsior!
- Alloyed-Guy and Mediocre Four: Cameo in Episode 151: Excelsior!.
- It is also mentioned that the uselesness of the 8-bit theaters superheroes is the reason light warriors are needed.
- Direct references
- Episode 342: Hypothetically Speaking... and Episode 343: Check Mate! feature Red Mage and Black Mage discussing on who would win in a fight, Batman or Dr. Doom. BM wins the argument by saying "Doom's machinations are such that even if Batman wins, his victory will somehow further Doom's villainous schemes".
- Episode 591: Hypothetically Speaking Again... has Red Mage and Black Mage discussing on who would win in a fight, Green Arrow or Bullseye. RM states that Green Arrow can "shoot several arrows at once with the utmost precision." BM argues against this, then Ranger pins him to a tree with such an attack.
- Episode 1106: From A Certain Point Of View is a discussion going on between Black Mage and Thief about who's really the Hero, Superman or Lex Luthor. Thief defends that Superman is the Hero, but Black Mage refutes that saying that Luthor is actually trying to bring dignity back to humans, because since Superman is vastly superior to us, no one needs to excel at anything. [Detail: This discussion happens while Red Mage is dead and on Fire in the floor right behind them]
Akbar[edit | edit source]
- Main article: Akbar
Akbar is a con artist who shamelessly hides behind obvious scams, which nearly everyone, without exception, falls for.
Messenger and Hank[edit | edit source]
At one point early in the story, the messenger brings bad news to King Steve, and Steve threatens to give the messenger the death sentence. After being told that his king was only kidding, the messenger is dismissed. Steve summons Hank next, and orders him to assassinate the messenger, which he promptly leaves to accomplish. After he leaves, Steve wonders whether or not he remembered to tell Hank he was kidding.
Hank has been tirelessly chasing after the messenger throughout the entirety of the comic, with no current success. At one point, the messenger had shaken Hank off his tracks by changing his identity and appearance, starting a new life in another town. However, Drizz'l blows his cover, and the chase begins yet again. At the end of the comic, in the epilogue, Hank is shown to still be chasing the messenger.
Lawninja[edit | edit source]
The Law Ninja work for Thief, enforcing his contracts. They hold the power to "stealth sue" people, though what this is exactly is unknown, but it is probably not good. They were exceptionally well trained in the art of tracking and stealth, as they follow Thief even as corpses. They died because he never fed them, due to food being "too expensive." (It cost 15 gil a bag). Their last "use" was as a throwing weapons against the Mob Boss.