8-Bit Theater
Vacation '04 #3
The Red Mage Memorial Bridge was built with the blood, sweat, tears, and most importantly, corpses of many hard working people.
I Love Bridge Jokes
Date Published Tuesday May 18th, 2004
Previous Comic Vacation '04 no.2 "It won't get weird."
Next Comic Vacation '04 no.4: In A World...
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Long bridge joke is long.

Cast AppearingEdit


  • A chasm
  • A village near the same chasm


Red MageHmm, it would appear a massive chasm has interrupted our quest, fellow Light Warriors.
But fear not! As always, have a cunning plan!
Red MageAll I need do is switch my 8 ranks in Knowledge (decorative cake frosting) to 8 ranks in Knowledge (suspension bridge engineering), then draw up a 15-year plan to build the Red Mage Memorial Bridge.
Black MageMemorial, you say?
ThiefYou have eight ranks in decorative cake frosting?
Red MageMy personal life is not on trial here!
Black MageI have a better plan, which is not surprising, as my head would have to implode before I would be capable of devising a worse one.
Black MageI can't help but notice a peaceful little village right over there.
Black MageI say we go round up as many townsfolk as we can find and then push them into the chasm, one by one, until their battered corpses form a macabre bridge that we might stroll across at our leisure.
Black Mage is shown walking across the bridge singing "I'm walkin' on sunshine...." if all goes according to his plan.
FighterOoo! Can I help??
Black MageYes, yes, Fighter. You might say your aid is the foundation of my plan. Heh.
Black MageAnd by that, I mean I'm pushing you in first.
ThiefWait, wait, wait. Why do we need to get over this chasm again?
White MageTo slay the great evil! And, uh, for lots of free gil!
ThiefRight, killing and looting. But as BM pointed out, there is a village on THIS side of the chasm.
There is a silence. The next panel shows Black Mage, Fighter, and Red Mage destroying the village and killing people as Thief steals.
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